Why I'm Never Invited To Speak At Graduation

I was having a conversation the other day with my buddy, Anonymous. It wasn’t a great conversation. Much of it didn’t make sense. And trying to exchange barbs with someone thru a blog is every bit as exciting as watching the bubbles on dishwater dissolve.

Anyway … eventually Anonymous and I reached an agreement – each of us thought the other was pond scum, and we were never going to “speak” to each other again. Ever. Never.

Her parting shot (I think Anonymous is a “her.”) fell into several parts. First, all I wanted to talk about was myself – it’s all about me. The second comment was that the way I wrote was “theatrical.” (This one I believe I can win. Look at the profile, sweetie. It says “playwright.” Writing in a manner that is “theatrical” comes with the territory.) And finally, in answer to several of my questions, she replied “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Why would you even ask such a question?”

“Why would you ask such a question?”

The query stayed with me. “Because you know the answer,” was the first thought that came to my mind. And then it occurred to me that perhaps she DIDN’T know the answer. What seems like the obvious conclusion finally struggled to life in my thoughts.

There’s more than one Anonymous. I’m talking in code to the wrong person. No wonder little of what was said made sense. This is not anyone I've known before. So if you’re still out there, Anonymous number two, I apologize.

However. Something else that was said has stayed with me. “It’s all about you,” was her statement. This was puzzling. My initial post was (in brief) that I had gone somewhere, reacted to something, and was wondering if this reaction was normal. As a writer, I don’t see this as being at all unreasonable. As a writer, I see myself as an observer, rather than the center of even small attention. This observation shocked me.

And then I had this strange dream, explaining why “It’s all about me” is not a good subject for a graduation speech.


(And I’ll tell you about it in my next post.)

JB

And how was your day?