Monday, August 1, 2011

For The Record

      I have received several snide comments recently suggesting that – based on blog comments I’ve made – I must certainly hate and/or enjoy degrading the entire population of Great Britain.

     I was shocked – enough so that I feel obliged to respond.

     So let’s be clear here. I love the Brits. When you are privileged to befriend the common individual (and not just the façade), they are (generally) funny, loving, generous, inventive – in other words just like the Italians and the Russians and the Greeks and the Germans (well, maybe not the Germans) and ta-da – just like us!

     There are some interesting similarities. The English largely poke fun at their class distinctions. We claim to not even have class distinctions, but take our social levels very seriously.

     In England they speak English. In this country we speak dubious gibberish . The comforting factor here is that both nations butcher pronunciations equally.

     In certain parts of the British Empire a man in a dress is called a Scot. In this country that same man would be called “under arrest.”

     I learned to drink beer at room temperature from a friend who lived for years near the white cliffs of Dover. (I don’t know if they still do that, but it doesn’t matter – I’m hooked.) And I make the trek to Disney World in Florida every chance I get because that’s the only place I know where I can get a real Stout.

     On the other hand, the English eat … something … stuffed into skin that revolts me to even think about. In fairness here, we encourage the unsuspecting to swallow without thinking meaty time bombs called “White Castle Sliders,” so …

     Both Great Britain and the United States take great pleasure in royalty worship. The only difference is that in this country we hunt for stupidity to idolize, while they have to wait for someone to marry into it.

     With all that said, there is one mystery that eludes me. When a politician in this country makes a pronouncement, somewhere in England his equal believes it! I mean – honestly – haven’t you learned anything yet?! (I admit to a big prejudice here. I like Tony Blair. I always thought of him as being an honest and honorable man, and if he hadn’t followed the lead of a former US President quite so closely, he might not have been so rightly dumped, and set an example of something.)

     But what do I know? I listened to the same people HE did.

     So, We clear now?

     Next time we will talk about the Russians, okay? I like them (the people, not the politics). They have a fatalistic outlook on life – enjoy today because tomorrow the bomb may go off in Moscow (and they’re not at all sure if it’s one of ours or could be one of theirs …)

     This has been fun. Comments?



Views from Malmesbury said...

Ooh, who's been making snide comments? Give me their address and I'll send the heavies round! I'm English and I've never seen anything in your blogs to make me think you hate us. Quite the contrary. Occasionally I puzzle over the meaning but that's down to the language, humour and culture differences! I enjoy your sense of humour and sense of the absurd, and lets face it, there's a lot of the absurd on both sides of the Atlantic to enjoy. No, for the most part the English and Americans poke friendly and affectionate fun at each other, and long may it last.

Views from Malmesbury said...

PS what are "White Castle Sliders"?

Julie M said...

well Malmes they arent royal burgers! Think greasy postage stamp sized ground meat on a biscuit. i am not a fan.

phinz said...

Dear Malmesbury,
A White Castle Slider is a delicious miniature hamburger (maybe 4 bites if you're courteous), guaranteed to give you onion breath and clog your arteries. I have no idea what type of meat they're actually made of, but choose to believe White Castle's claim that it is beef. I'm fearless like that . . .

And I have English ancestors so nobody better diss mah peeps. :)

phinz said...

Rule Brittania!

Views from Malmesbury said...

Hmm, mixed reviews. Looks like I'll just have to come and try one some day and decide. Oh, and JB, if you mean faggots, I'm with you, they're disgusting. You should try haggis instead, sheep's stomach notwithstanding they're delicious - some better than others depending on the flavourings. The Scots beat us there.