Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Texas Polygamist Mormon Sect GUILTY!

There! I said it – guilty. Guilty guilty guilty!

Boy, do I ever feel better. So – whadda ya say? Let’s send those people away for a goodly long time. Maybe we can do a 60 Minutes Special on the first anniversary of the arrest. Or … better yet, sometime in May, a year from now (during sweeps.) Hey, don’t dismiss the idea without giving it some thought. And – oh, this gets better. Five years from now, maybe ten, we can drag one or two of the Mormon kids out of mothballs, to tell us how their lives were ruined by … by …

What was that again?

Oh. Yes. They’re Mormons. That’s enough. They are guilty of being scary Mormons. No, they split from the scary Mormons, so that makes them even scarier Mormons. I mean, isn’t that right up there with Martin Luther splitting from the Roman Catholics? Uh … maybe not. Better to not go there. I’m sure it will all be straightened out in the made-for-TV movie.

But they’re guilty. Must be. CNN says they are guilty. I mean, CNN, NBC, everybody calls them a polygamist group. And they couldn’t and wouldn’t say that if it wasn’t true.

Could they? Would they?

… on the other hand, if they were called just a small farming commune in backcountry Texas, that probably wouldn’t make much of a grabber headline. So, in spite of the fact that they haven’t been convicted yet, haven’t even been charged yet, they must be guilty. Nancy Grace says so.

But they force young girls to marry old men. How ‘bout that? I know this for a fact. Just today, a man in the Target store told me it was true.

Oh. Oh. You can’t dispute this one. Have you seen the sect women? I mean, can you believe that? They all dress like pioneer women, talk in low monotones, and have 1950’s James Dean hairstyles. Anybody who lives like that must be guilty of something. I've seen enough movies to know that. Why, you’d almost believe they were pretending to be Amish! At the very least, In spite of their constant denials, they must all be brain dead.

What?

Oops. Sorry. I meant to say they are brainWASHED! The women who dress and talk funny, and are brain dead … they all live in Southern California, don’t they? Yo, dog! My bad!

…………………………………………………………………

Eventually, in due time and course, the evidence will be gathered, charges of crimes against society will be made, trials will be held, and individuals – I have no doubt – will be convicted and sent to jail. I’m not foolish. I’m inclined to believe that the government rarely acts without good reasons.

…………………………………………………………………

But before that – now - this group has in fact been tried and found guilty. They actually believed that they would be presumed innocent until proven guilty. Where on earth did they come up with THAT dumb idea?!

I must admit, my friend, to a great sense of relief. I belong to a church approved by everyone. I’m a …

On second thought, I … don’t think I wanna tell you.

4 comments:

Julie Morrison said...

So far they have been invaded. Yeah, unlawfully invaded. The whole thing could possibly be thrown out because their probably cause is in question. At any rate, if they are guilty of crime, let them have their day. BUt what if they started pounding in the doors of writers? Whatif someone called the cops and did something similar to us? Are they going about it the right way? Or picking groups that we all agree on to set a dangerous precedent? That's what Glen Beck is asking...and I'm wondering if this has the same press as WACO?

Nicki said...

I have two very different thoughts about this whole situation: one, I agree wholeheartedly that the news coverage for what's happening is invasive and disgusting. Nancy Grace, you go stick a twig in your ear RIGHT NOW. But two, as a woman, I am slightly terrified by the women I've seen on TV. They look so empty--and I know they would tell me they were happy, but that scares me even more. You can be a good person and still have individual thoughts in your head. Is what I think, anyway. :)

Birdie said...

Nicki, I feel like you do. On one hand I think "Who are we to tell these people they are living wrong?" On the other hand I think of these young girls sleeping with these older men and I wonder how scary that is....or if it's scary at all or just a part of their lives. Also, it always concerns me when I see women that seem stripped of any emotions. I guess that comes from my past and how I've seen so many women told how they should act. They all seem so "stepford" like. (Am I beeing narrow minded, here?) The thing that really upsets me is them ripping these families apart. Taking these children away to places they don't know. Isn't there a different way to deal with this without terrorizing these people? I seriously find it all disturbing and I find myself with so many mixed emotions and thoughts. One is for sure; I feel such sorrow and compassion over the whole thing. I hurt for these people. Also I'm disgusted with how the media has taken any dignity that they had away.

Julie Morrison said...

Yeah, since the posting I've seen a lot of hollow looking eyes. It does bother me. I think even the most open minded person can't help feeling upstaged when a man "loves" more than one wife. I don't like the idea. It nauseates me about teenage wives. BUt if they proceed with this case incorrectly, they will do more than disrupt all those kids lives. The adults will be devastated enought, right? Being separated from "family"? But the kids are paying for the mistakes of adults.
If the government is wrong and your parents are wrong, what's right? It's disturbing. I also hate that they use military sounding words to describe a commune. It makes them sound like militants. If the women can't speak up for themselves, how would they cause an uprising. I am deeply troubled by this...Gee Jack, you're AWFULLY quiet....