Showing posts with label Mormons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mormons. Show all posts

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Higgamus, hoggamus, woman's monogamous. Hoggamus higgamus, man is polygamous.

So … I wasn’t gonna get into this. I just wanted to lay out the “due process” scenario – that I felt was being grossly ignored. Lay it out there with the hope that someone would agree with me. That was the plan.

But you kept asking really good questions.

So here we are, back with “Scary Texas Polygamous Mormons, Part Two.” (Note to Julie: Is there a movie in here somewhere? A “B” movie, at least? Straight to DVD? Cable?)

Anyway. Let’s get one thing straight. The other day I was passing by a heated conversation and heard a man say, ”See? That’s why Mitt Romney should never be president. He’s one of THEM.”

What?!

Excuse me, oh great stupid mouth, weren’t you paying attention? Regardless of how you regard their religion, the Mormons outlawed polygamy a hundred years ago. This Texas bunch SPLIT from the Mormons, and are no longer card carrying members. Got that? They call themselves Mormons, but in certain and less than subtle ways they are not – not not not a part of the bunch who come around to thump on your door. I mention this only because I know an honest-to-goodness Mormon family. I have found them to be honest, generous, and certainly trying hard to live by a higher moral standard than I have. Since my nature is to be contrary, I bring up the subject of polygamy at every opportunity … and they still continue to invite me over to their house.

Meanwhile, back in Texas …

Here’s a brief re-cap of the allegations that disgust many, and apparently appeal to the prurient interests of others. A supposed polygamous sect in Texas is invaded by government authorities, and 450 children are removed. 23 mothers are included because they are age 17 or younger. 6 adult mothers are removed to “battered women” shelters, and the remaining 47 adult mothers return to the FLDS sect complex. It is ALLEDGED that the majority of the children are girls, destined to be willing or unwilling participants in polygamous marriages anytime after they reach the age of 13. It is ALLEDGED that the majority of boys are encouraged/forced to leave the sect at an early age, theoretically so they will not be in competition with their fathers for the available females. (And now you know why I refuse to judge them. If these allegations prove to be true, then these people are revolting well beyond my ability to understand or forgive. Here abide monsters.)

In addition, there are a few observations to be made. In a tour of the complex, it was revealed that the children live in a communal relationship – all together. Where are the parents? Further, all the commentary on the part of sect members has been given by women. Where are the men?

Now. From comments I’ve received, it appears obvious that we, as observers, fall into two camps.

One side says that these women are purely evil. How could anyone – especially mothers – allow such outrageous acts to be perpetrated on their own children?

What makes them different from the World War II female concentration camp guards?


Yet their grief is real.



So could this ultimately be the real victim here?

The children are gone. That’s a fact. But – let’s face it – they are easy to replace.


Is the government planning a raid every ten to twelve years?

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Texas Polygamist Mormon Sect GUILTY!

There! I said it – guilty. Guilty guilty guilty!

Boy, do I ever feel better. So – whadda ya say? Let’s send those people away for a goodly long time. Maybe we can do a 60 Minutes Special on the first anniversary of the arrest. Or … better yet, sometime in May, a year from now (during sweeps.) Hey, don’t dismiss the idea without giving it some thought. And – oh, this gets better. Five years from now, maybe ten, we can drag one or two of the Mormon kids out of mothballs, to tell us how their lives were ruined by … by …

What was that again?

Oh. Yes. They’re Mormons. That’s enough. They are guilty of being scary Mormons. No, they split from the scary Mormons, so that makes them even scarier Mormons. I mean, isn’t that right up there with Martin Luther splitting from the Roman Catholics? Uh … maybe not. Better to not go there. I’m sure it will all be straightened out in the made-for-TV movie.

But they’re guilty. Must be. CNN says they are guilty. I mean, CNN, NBC, everybody calls them a polygamist group. And they couldn’t and wouldn’t say that if it wasn’t true.

Could they? Would they?

… on the other hand, if they were called just a small farming commune in backcountry Texas, that probably wouldn’t make much of a grabber headline. So, in spite of the fact that they haven’t been convicted yet, haven’t even been charged yet, they must be guilty. Nancy Grace says so.

But they force young girls to marry old men. How ‘bout that? I know this for a fact. Just today, a man in the Target store told me it was true.

Oh. Oh. You can’t dispute this one. Have you seen the sect women? I mean, can you believe that? They all dress like pioneer women, talk in low monotones, and have 1950’s James Dean hairstyles. Anybody who lives like that must be guilty of something. I've seen enough movies to know that. Why, you’d almost believe they were pretending to be Amish! At the very least, In spite of their constant denials, they must all be brain dead.

What?

Oops. Sorry. I meant to say they are brainWASHED! The women who dress and talk funny, and are brain dead … they all live in Southern California, don’t they? Yo, dog! My bad!

…………………………………………………………………

Eventually, in due time and course, the evidence will be gathered, charges of crimes against society will be made, trials will be held, and individuals – I have no doubt – will be convicted and sent to jail. I’m not foolish. I’m inclined to believe that the government rarely acts without good reasons.

…………………………………………………………………

But before that – now - this group has in fact been tried and found guilty. They actually believed that they would be presumed innocent until proven guilty. Where on earth did they come up with THAT dumb idea?!

I must admit, my friend, to a great sense of relief. I belong to a church approved by everyone. I’m a …

On second thought, I … don’t think I wanna tell you.